When I lived in New York and worked in media, there was rarely an evening when I wasn’t at some party or social gathering, drink in hand, meticulously crafted outfit designed to solicit attention.
I was young – in my late teens and early twenties and I wanted to be a part of the group of cool kids I had felt excluded by in my earlier school years. It felt exciting and validating to be included in a world of beautiful people and velvet ropes. For three years I cared about little else than going out, meeting people, being seen. But this was not really me; it was as if I was playing a part I thought I was supposed to play. I had to drink in order to feign enjoyment in these settings. So few memories stand out from these years as blissful or enriching.
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