I’m so excited that the time I’ve been waiting for has finally come!!!!!!!! NO NEED THE SOCIALISE AND BE AROUND FRIENDS I HATE!! Do you know how much pain and agony I have suffered the past few months. Trying to fit in and be likeable by everyone. It was draining because it never seemed to end up the way you want it to be. “Be yourself” they say but honestly if I continue being the shy and soft spoken me, the only person who lose out in the end is myself. I am not changing for others but rather to be a better myself. I feel really frustrated all this while when people don’t treat me like a cool person/ see me as one of their top friends. I know people will say ” their opinion don’t matter” I know these very well and I have come to accept that i can’t be the best friends of everyone, to be the cool kid everyone wants to be with. And it’s ok. I see myself as who I am, warm-hearted, soft-spoken, gentle me and I guess that’s what make me, me.
School hasn’t been all that of a conducive and best place to study in as what they would always try to say our school as, but it wasn’t bad either. I treasure every person in school who has made me happy in one way or another. That’s what important because ultimately it’s not coolness which which bring you far in life but rather the gratitude and appreciation for simple things in life that will keep you going.
Results are atrocious and I am so tired of trying again and again. Today was suppose to be Teacher-Parent Conference and I’m so glad I escaped it for the time being?? Imagine my mum exploding infront of my teacher and I literally want to kill myself. At least for now, it postpones my doom. My mother will probably scold me so terribly and fucking make me feel like shit but ya I deserve it too.
So many things on my mind these days: results, friends, personal issues, studies
glad school has been stopped currently here’s to working like a mad dog during hols YIPPEEEE KUDOS TO ME.